Confidence is a tricky thing. It’s hard to even know what it is, except within oneself. When you have it, you think things are going to work out well, and you push a little harder, take a few more risks, look forward to the next challenge. When you don’t, you hold back, defend, and try not to rock the boat.
Some people seem to have unlimited confidence, never seeming to get rattled. Others are thin, fragile, and the smallest thing will leave them unsure.
It seems that I should be confident, with all the good things happening, and yet I wake up every morning just positive that no one will ever publish a word I write. The only antidote I’ve ever found is to keep going.
A few tidbits, as we move into July:
- I have a new website for educational stuff, aliasmrc.com. The email there is mrc at aliasmrc.com. All the classes I teach, all the information about where I’m going to be and when will be on that site, and the class links above will increasingly point to that target.
- Yesterday finished off another 50,000 word month. I’ve done that eight months in a row.
- July is Camp NaNoWriMo, which is essentially a fancy excuse to have a bunch of authors crank out another pile of words. Since I’ve managed 50k every month since Halloween, I’m confident I can do it again (there’s that word “confidence” again, but I actually am confident about that). I’m in Tiana Smith’s “cabin”–she’s got a good group of writers there, and it should be fun to work with them.
- Patreon continues well. I love writing on that platform, and I’m constantly humbled by the generosity of my patrons. There will be a big push here shortly to get more of them, with lots of freebies and giveaways. Watch this space for more.
This week is my 47th birthday. It’s always a time of nostalgia and a little bit of wistful sadness. I want to live to be 200, so this isn’t even yet the end of the first 25% of my life, but it feels like much more than that. I fear that I shall find I have wasted my life wishing I had more of it to spend.
Confidence. Today it eludes me. But there will be a tomorrow.